Month: October 2023

Top 10 Horror Comedies

/ Chase Clark / Leave a comment

Horror Comedy is an interesting blend of genres because it takes two complete opposites and meshes them together in a film that often supersedes the best in either individual category. There are plenty of duds out there. The same can be said any genre. When treated correctly, Horror Comedies can both frighten and make us laugh. Let’s take a look at some of these movies, shall we?

10. Ernest Scared Stupid

Let’s get this out of the way, the Ernest movies aren’t good movies. They’re funny to a very select group of people and nostalgic to a slightly larger group of people. Lucky for me, I’m in both groups. Ernest Scared Stupid follows the ever-lovable Ernest P. Worrell as he unwittingly releases an evil troll from his mystical prison. One by one, the troll wreaks havoc on the town and captures the town’s children, turning them into wooden dolls. Ernest pleads with the mayor and sheriff of the town that the troll must be stopped, but nobody in town believes him, except Old Lady Hackmore (Eartha Kitt). Together, they must stop the troll before he grows too powerful to be stopped.

9. Tucker & Dale vs. Evil

Subverting the Horror trope, Tucker and Dale are two good-hearted hillbillies who just purchased a rundown cabin in the woods. As they travel to the cabin to begin repairs to make it their ultimate summer dream home, their paths cross a group of college kids. Several misunderstandings occur that cause the college kids to fear for their lives around the hillbillies, but when one of the college kids is revealed to be more than they appear, can these misunderstandings be resolved before danger strikes? It’s nothing a little chamomile tea can’t fix.

8. Army of Darkness

By the third installment of the Evil Dead franchise, director Sam Raimi and star Bruce Campbell were leaning into the sheer goofiness they had created in the previous films. The result is one part time travel story, one part Three Stooges homage, and all parts groovy, baby. Thanks to the mysterious powers of the Necronomicon, Ash Williams is transported back into the Middle Ages just as a…army of darkness…arises. Equipped with his chainsaw arm and his “boomstick”, Ash will have to help the local king protect his kingdom and find a way back into the present day so he can get back to work at the S-Mart. Hail to the king, baby!

7. Scream

Okay, this is definitely the most horror-ish movie on the list, but it’s one of the few movies that can stand as a critique of the genre it loves as well as being an excellent entry into that genre. In the town of Woodsboro, a string of murders occur by a man in a mask, Ghostface. Ghostface shows no mercy and will kill you for simply getting a plot point of one of the Friday the 13th movies wrong. Not only do you need to be sharp on slasher film tropes, you also need to know the “rules of surviving a horror movie” if you’re going to make it through the night.

6. Shaun of the Dead

Shaun goes to sleep a hopeless, girlfriend-less loser, and wakes up the next morning in a zombie apocalypse, though he and his best friend, Ed, are slow to realize it. Armed with a shovel and a cricket bat (and briefly a record collection, though both men suffer from terrible aim), they must gather their friends and family and attempt to survive until the British Army can arrive. That means they have to fight, run over, and blend in with the zombies, often times to disastrous results. Despite the odds, Shaun is determined to survive…and prove to his ex that he can be somebody.

5. Zombieland

Columbus is traveling home to make sure his family has survived a zombie apocalypse, and he’s gotten this far due to a strict set of rules to surviving. On his way, he teams up with Tallahassee, a loose cannon who loves killing zombie almost as much as he loves Twinkies. They are joined by two con artist sisters, Wichita and Little Rock, who quickly trick them into giving up guns and their car as means to get to a theme park that is said to be “zombie free”. The four travel toward this park together, making a quick stop at Bill Murray’s house, only to find it horribly infested with zombies.

4. Little Shop of Horrors

That’s some plant! Seymour (Rick Moranis) buys this intriguing plant one day and brings it to the flower shop where he works for some window decoration. The plant, which Seymour has named Audrey II (Levi Stubbs of The Four Tops) after his coworker, Audrey (Ellen Greene), whom he is secretly in love with. Audrey suffers from an inferiority complex and cannot leave her abusive dentist boyfriend, Orin (Steve Martin). Audrey II doesn’t respond to regular water and sunlight to grow. It needs blood, and luckily, Orin’s got more than enough. Seymour doesn’t kill Orin, but he does chop him up after the dentist accidentally kills himself on an overdose of laughing gas. Soon, Audrey II and Seymour are the talk of the town, but as far as blood and fame go, when will enough be enough?

3. Arsenic and Old Lace

Frank Capra was mostly known for his idealistic humanist films such as Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, Mr. Deeds Goes to Town, and It’s A Wonderful Life, but two years before that last one was released, Capra released Arsenic and Old Lace. The screwball comedy takes place on Halloween night, and Mortimer Brewster (Cary Grant) has just been married. He runs home to tell his aunties only to discover that his sweet, old aunties have a dead body in the window seat. From there, the film spirals out of control as Mortimer fends off his brothers, Teddy (who believes he’s the president with the same name) and Jonathan (who looks just like Boris Karloff), asylum doctors, the police, and his new bride. It’s such a mad-cap night that it even drives Mortimer a little insane.

2. Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein

The smartest thing Universal Studios ever did (besides attempting to franchise their monster movies, of course) was to take their two biggest money-makers of the 30s and 40s, and mash them together. Abbott and Costello, Chick and Wilbur, are postal workers tasked with transporting crates of artifacts for McDougal’s House of Horrors. Inside those crates are the supposed bodies of Count Dracula and Frankenstein’s monster. Chick doesn’t believe in any of that superstitious hocus pocus, but Wilbur…well, he’s a simple guy, and a perfect brain for the monster, or so the very-much-alive Dracula suspects. The only one who believes Wilbur is Larry Talbot, but he has his only hairy problems to deal with. What follows is a wild and hilarious ride through the Universal catalog of monsters.

1. Young Frankenstein

Parody is the sincerest form of flattery, or so someone says, I’m sure. Mel Brooks and Gene Wilder’s second collaboration of 1974 is a love letter to those Universal monster movies of yore, and a deep love it is. The attention to detail should be enough to recognize that. The whole hook of Young Frankenstein is “what if the descendant of the original Dr. Frankenstein wanted nothing to do with the family business?” Frederick Frankenstein (pronounced “Fronk-en-steen”) moves to Transylvania to see what he’s inherited. The descendent of his grandfather’s assistant, Igor (“Eye-gor”), is there to help him, along with Inga and Frau Blücher. Frankenstein slowly descends into madness and decides to pick up where his grandfather left off, determined to create not only a simple reanimated creature, but to make him a “man about town”. The townspeople have no love for the creature, so it’s up to the doctor to make them see his potential. You don’t have to be Abby Normal to find this movie hilarious.

Killers of the Flower Moon

/ Chase Clark / Leave a comment

Well, it’s here. The time has finally come. Martin Scorsese’s latest, Killers of the Flower Moon, is in theaters, which means two things: 1. You should go see it, and 2. I can review it.

Filmed in and around Pawhuska, Oklahoma, Killers of the Flower Moon is the story of the Osage Murders in the 1920s. After black gold is discovered on Osage land, the entire Nation becomes rich beyond their wildest dreams. In an opening cinematic meant to look like an early newsreel, Osage women are shown flashing large jewels and furs, men are in suits and hats, and they’re driven around by their lowly white cabbies. From there, we’re introduced to Ernest Burkhart (Leonardo DiCaprio), a World War I vet fresh off the train. He’s a simple man, and cowardly, and his uncle, “King” William Hale (Robert De Niro), can smell the loyal dog in him at their reacquaintance.

Ernest makes his living as a cabbie. That is, until he meets and falls in love with Mollie (Lily Gladstone), a local Osage woman taking care of her ailing mother. Mollie is two very important things to Ernest: beautiful and rich. Hale encourages his nephew to marry the woman, and soon, there’s a wedding, and little Burkharts running around not long after. The couple are in complete marital bliss, despite the rampant death surrounding them. But then, the murders start hitting closer to home. One by one, Mollie’s mother and sisters die, and even she is starting to show signs of the “wasting death”. Believing her illness is related to her diabetes, she takes insulin shots paid for by Hale. Though the book the film is based on took its time to reveal the masterminds behind the murders, the film makes it clear early on that Hale is not the guy you want providing insulin for your sick wife.

After an explosion of dynamite kills her cousin, Reta, and Reta’s husband, Bill, Mollie is tired of waiting on the local authorities to do anything and goes to Washington D.C. to plead with the president to investigate the murders. A former Texas Ranger, Tom White, is sent to Osage country to get to the bottom of it, and thankfully, he’s good at what he does. The murderers are brought to justice, and finally, William Hale’s reign of terror is ended.

A lot has already been said about how this film shifts focus from Tom White and the creation of the FBI to the relationship between Ernest and Mollie. Just to throw in my two cents, it was the right decision. Not only does it avoid the White Savior trope that a lot of these movies can fall into, it also gives the story a much-needed emotional core and depth. We should all be able to look back at these events in our country’s history and be appalled, but when you connect it to these people that we care about and fear for, we’re once less removed from their horror. Scorsese has never shied away from terrible violence in his films, and that remains true in Killers of the Flower Moon. Wide shots of the murders come quickly and without warning. We are made to witness it all.

Despite some of these scenes, the film is beautiful to look at. Oklahoma rarely gets recognition for its dazzling landscape, but its here for all to see. Gorgeous horizons, rolling hills, and golden fields of tallgrass fill the frame and paint a vibrant picture of the plains. The camera is always at work and rarely static. There’s not a dull shot in the film, but there are some that stand out from the rest. One that comes to mind is a scene where Hale is burning the fields around his house for the insurance money, and the images become distorted and dreamlike as the camera focuses through the flames. One of the earliest shots in the film is a group of young Osage men dancing in a field beneath a geyser of oil as droplets rain down on them in slow motion.

Another high point of the film is the score from the late Robbie Robertson, guitarist and songwriter for The Band. Robertson, who was of Native American descent, has collaborated with Scorsese on multiple films, but Killers of the Flower Moon might be his best work. Being a Scorsese movie, it’s very blues-heavy, but there’s a major emphasis on percussion that drives it along and keeps it close to its Indigenous roots, most notably in that aforementioned scene with the men dancing under the spraying oil. There are blues, gospel and Native American songs from the time sprinkled throughout as well, adding to the authenticity of the film.

Killers of the Flower Moon boasts incredible talent in front of the camera. It’s only the third collaboration between Robert De Niro and Leonardo DiCaprio, despite both of them working with Scorsese for decades, and they are both true to form. I’m sure both of them will be strong contenders come Oscars season. However, the performer I want to draw special attention to is Lily Gladstone. Gladstone’s entire filmography can be counted without taking off your shoes, and she is a demanding presence even when sharing the screen with someone like DiCaprio. It probably helps that Mollie is the analog for entire Osage Nation that we’re supposed to care for and sympathize with, but regardless, this woman can act. True to character, she says very little, but in that silence, she says so much. There’s a fortitude and intelligence behind her eyes.

SPOILERS FROM HERE ON OUT

Is everyone who is trying to avoid spoilers gone? Okay, good. Back to Lily Gladstone. Before the film transitions to its coda, Gladstone’s Mollie confronts her husband on his involvement with the murders. She tries to get Ernest to admit to poisoning her, but he can’t bring himself to do it. She’s known for some time that he was involved, but she gives him one last chance to come clean and prove that there’s still honesty between them. When Ernest refuses to admit to anything other than insulin, Mollie gets up and walks out on him without another word. She doesn’t have to say anything. Her face says it all. The scene is particularly heartbreaking, in no small part due to Gladstone’s performance.

Now, about that coda. From this scene, the movie transitions into a radio show. A recreation of an early Lucky Strike Hour radio program acts as our epilogue in lieu of title cards explaining where the characters are now. It explains that both Hale and Burkhart were sentenced to life in prison (and both got out early on good behavior), and in a very poignant moment, Scorsese himself makes a cameo to give us Mollie’s obituary. He explains that she died at 50 from complications with her diabetes, and was buried next to her family that preceded her. The very last words of the film are his: “The murders were never mentioned.” There’s a duality going on here. On the one hand, there’s a critique of Scorsese’s own actions as a filmmaker – taking a tragedy and turning it into entertainment – but on the other hand, there’s an argument for the need and value of storytelling. Without David Grann’s book and without Scorsese’s film, how many people would even know about these murders?

The film is wisely bookended with two Osage ceremonies. The very first scene is a burial of a pipe as the Osage people mourn the loss of their culture as new laws demand that they learn the history of White Men. They cry for the loss of their language. They cry for the loss of their history. The very last shot of the film is a modern drum ceremony shown from a bird’s eye view. As the kaleidoscopic image fades to black, we realize that Osage history is not lost, as long as there are people with the power to tell it.

Night of the Comet

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The entire world watches and waits to see a comet pass across the sky that hasn’t been seen from Earth since the age of the dinosaurs. Something once-in-several-lifetimes like this deserves some serious attention, so comet watch parties overtake the evening’s festivities. There’s just one problem: the comet turns those who witness it to dust, or worse, they turn into zombies that will soon become dust. Lucky for sisters, Reggie and Sam, as well as a few other characters we meet along the way, they miss the event. The world they wake up to is a post-apocalyptic dust bowl where the only sound is a prerecorded radio show coming in over the air waves.

Night of the Comet is hardly a zombie movie. As a matter of fact, it is hardly an apocalypse movie. Really, what Night of the Comet is, is a conspiracy movie. A group of scientists who knew about the effects of the coming comet hid themselves to survive the night, but one idiot scientist left the air vent open and the comet dust came in and infected them all. In a desperate attempt to give themselves more time to discover a cure for the comet’s effects, they are killing innocent survivors to harvest their untainted blood. It’s up to Reggie and Sam to stop them before they kill all the remaining survivors.

The synopsis may not make it clear, but Night of the Comet, more than anything else, is a comedy. Reggie and Sam are Valley Girl types thrust into a zombie-infested world, and the movie plays it smart by playing it straight. This is a real apocalypse these girls are experiencing, but even if you can take the girl out of the Valley, you can’t take the Valley out of the girl. Despite their circumstances, Reggie and Sam keep their priorities straight. Their focus is on dating and shopping. Reggie and a boy named Hector end up connecting as they thwart the evil scientists, but who is there for Sam to date if everyone else is dead? And though they go shopping for guns to defend themselves with, they also make sure to give their wardrobe some attention. After all, this is prime time for a new fashion trend.

The movie is action-packed with interesting set pieces and a surprisingly satisfying visual style. Some of the set design is outdated (the radio station the girls meet Hector looks like the 1980s got food poisoning and vomited neon), but that adds to the fun, right? Perhaps, that’s why the movie has seemingly gained a cult following. That nostalgia for the 80s that’s crept into modern Horror properties needs to have a point of reference, after all. The film also follows a rising 80s trend of strong female protagonists, but Reggie seems to never get lumped in with Ripley and Sarah Connor on the lists nerds make to justify their hatred of the latest Star Wars heroine and Sam never truly gets the credit she deserves as the inspiration for Buffy, the Vampire Slayer. Some films just can’t escape their B-movie standing, I guess.

The film is far from perfect, however. The editing lacks a rhythm to it and some scenes last longer than they need to, the actors outside of Reggie (Catherine Mary Stewart, who also starred that same year in The Last Starfighter and was on Days of Our Lives the year before that) are wooden and directionless throughout most of the movie, and some decisions are outright head-scratching (the whole DMK resolution feels tacked on because the writer thought it was way more important than it was). While it has its flaws, there’s enough about Night of the Comet to enjoy a movie night and makes you wish stores like Blockbuster were still a thing. It’s a perfect October rental.

Top 10 Best (Worst) Sci-Fi Movies

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After my last review, I thought it might be fun to explore a few other goofy Sci-Fi movies. It’s like it’s own subgenre. These movies have notoriously horrible acting, even worse visual effects and the most paper-thin plotlines imaginable. That’s what makes them fun, and it’s turned into somewhat a phenomenon to watch terrible movies for the irony – something I believe we have Mystery Science Theater 3000 for. These ten films are some of the worst out there, and they’re that much better for it.

10. The Mole People

The audacity this film has for hiring an actual college professor to explain the scientific theories that inspired this premise. A couple of archaeologists dig a little too deep and discover an entire civilization of underground albinos, who use these mole people to dig their tunnels and find them food. The albinos worship Ishtar and believe the mole people are sent from Ishtar to provide for them. However, when one of the mole people kills an archaeologist, the albinos decide the mole people are not from Ishtar. Before they can do something about it, an earthquake buries the civilization. Do with that what you will.

9. Attack of the 50ft Woman

When a woman comes in contact with radiation by a giant humanoid space alien, she becomes a giant herself. As if her life wasn’t already difficult enough. Her husband is seeing another woman and intends to kill her so he and his mistress can inherit her massive estate. However, killing her proves difficult when she becomes a giant. Now, it’s her turn to get revenge on those who have wronged her, while the original alien uses the diamonds from her necklace as a source of power to get his ship off the ground.

8. Them!

Them! precedes Godzilla by five months, making it one of the earliest examples of a normal animal coming in contact with radiation. Instead of a single lizard, however, it’s an entire colony of ants that has grown in size due to the testing of an atomic bomb. When bodies turn up dead and full of acid, the local authorities are forced to confront the ant threat. It becomes such an infestation that the National Guard is called in to dispatch the ants with flamethrowers. The giant ants are hilarious to watch as they terrorize the New Mexico town.

7. Teenage Zombies

A group of teenagers discover an island inhabited by a woman mad scientist, her pet gorilla, and her zombie slave. She has the teenagers captured and plans to zombify them in order to test a drug she’s developing on behalf of an unknown country. A few of them escape and run to get the local authorities, but it turns out he’s in cahoots with the mad scientist. It’s up to the most unlikely hero – the gorilla – to save the teenagers before they can become zombies themselves.

6. King Dinosaur

A group of scientists are sent to a new planet to see if it’s possible for humans to live there. Pretty soon after they arrive, they discover a plethora of animals, many of which are extinct on Earth. Before too long, they discover the apex predator of the planet: a Tyrannosaurus Rex (played by the iguana in the picture above). The king dinosaur chases the scientists to an island and their only escape is to unleash a nuclear power that effectively wipes out all animal life on the planet and radiating the land. Guess it’s not inhabitable, after all.

5. Robot Monster

Ro-Man, the robot monster, has a mission: wipe out all life on planet Earth. And it’s a mission he’s perfectly capable of acting out, except for one little snare. He falls in love with a human woman. His infatuation with the woman derails his entire purpose, and he’s already been told by The Great One, the one who sent him to Earth, that there’s no coming home until his purpose is completed. Mass destruction and chaos ensue until one of the surviving humans wakes up from their horrible nightmare. All is right with the world. That is, until Ro-Man emerges from his cave and marches right towards the audience. He’s coming for you!

4. The Blob (1958)

Beware of the Blob! It creeps, and leaps, and glides and slides across the floor! There you go. You have the entire premise of the movie in the opening theme song. Steve McQueen’s first starring role is Steve Andrews, a teenager who witnesses a crashing meteorite while making out with his girlfriend in his car. It’s going to be up to him to stop the Blob – an alien creature that grows as it devours citizens of the town, until he’s even bigger than a building. It’s the most terrifying wad of gum you will ever see.

3. Plan 9 from Outer Space

Aliens invade the Earth to enact the mysterious “Plan 9” – an attempt to resurrect the dead in order to prevent humanity from creating a weapon that can destroy the entire universe. Because that makes sense. Considered one of the worst movies ever made, Plan 9 from Outer Space is responsible for a few things in our modern cinema history: the infamy of director Ed Wood, the resurgence of appreciation for Bela Lugosi, and the phenomenon of wrestlers becoming actors. It was not as successful an attempt for Tor Johnson as it was for Dwayne.

2. Santa Claus Conquers the Martians

Martians are sent to Earth to kidnap Santa Claus for the sake of their own children, but can’t distinguish the real one from the fake ones at the mall, so they kidnap a couple of children to help them. Now, it’s up to Santa Claus to sort it out, but fret not, there’s no actual conquering involved. This movie is hilarious for two reasons: 1. The worst attempt at a polar bear costume ever put to film, and 2. Holding the distinction of being the first representation of Mrs. Claus on screen. The fact that the Martians are implied to represent Jewish people make it a little cringey by today’s standards.

1. Teenagers from Outer Space

An alien, sick of his alien lifestyle, attempts to live anonymously among the human race. However, some of his fellow aliens are tasked with not only retrieving their defected comrade, but also annihilating the entire planet Earth. To do so, they unleash their alien creatures of destruction, the Gargons. Boasting the worst acting of any movie on this list, it’s hilarious for the performances alone. However, the cherry on top is that the Gargons are portrayed by giant lobsters. This movie is, in my opinion, the definitive “so bad it’s good” movie.

It Came from Outer Space

/ Chase Clark / 1 Comment

When I think of the slew of 1950’s Sci-Fi movies that were released on shoe-string budgets, a few things come to mind. Terrible acting, ridiculous special effects, and the most basic plots known to man. It Came from Outer Space is no exception to these things, but with one interesting twist. What if the aliens aren’t here to destroy or enslave us?

John Putman and his fiancee, Ellen Fields are out stargazing one night when John notices something shooting across the skyline from his telescope, watching it crash off in the distance. The two go investigate and, just before it sinks beneath the dirt of a landfill, John sees a spaceship. John tries to convince the town of what he saw, but no one believes him until the sheriff starts to notice some people going missing and returning with a strange air about them. The sheriff decides they have to kill the aliens before they themselves are killed, but John believes a peaceful solution can be reached. He discovers that the aliens aren’t killing anyone, they’re merely shapeshifting into humans they see in order to get ahold of supplies they need to repair their busted ship. Once they have all the parts they need, they will get out of Earth’s hair. It’s up to John to keep the sheriff and his posse from getting to the aliens before they can leave.

Most of the time, these Sci-Fi movies from the 50s are reactions to the Red Scare. The aliens are malicious and vindictive and out to conquer our planet, just like the Soviets. However, this movie, based on a treatment from one of the greatest Sci-Fi authors, Ray Bradbury, depicts the aliens as sympathetic. Not necessarily human, but deserving of a chance for peace. Just that tiny change elevates the movie above many of its peers. It still has the cheesy special effects, but they’re more subdued and used sparingly. It’s not like there’s a giant lobster off in the distance, ready to attack.

Credit can be given to the film’s director, Jack Arnold, for the intelligence behind the camera. Arnold’s other credits include Tarantula, Creature from the Black Lagoon, The Mouse That Roared, and a personal favorite, The Incredible Shrinking Man – all much smarter than their contemporaries. It will still make you laugh when you aren’t supposed to, but It Came from Outer Space is an enjoyable Sci-Fi romp, worth a look during the month of Halloween.

Top 15 Horror Movies

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Since I’ve already said that I’m not much of a fan of Horror movies, I expect some of you won’t give my reviews of the genre much credit, and rightfully so. To attempt to give you a way to gauge your interests compared to mine, I’ve decided I should do another controversial list. So, here it is: The Top 15 Horror Movies.

15. The Wolf Man

The son of the Man of a Thousand Faces, Lon Chaney Jr. stars as Larry Talbot – a man who returns home for the burial of his brother. His father, John (Claude Rains), is a difficult man to be be around, but Larry’s return is an opportunity for reconciliation. Larry’s life changes when he’s bitten by a werewolf – a Romani Bela Lugosi. Now, he transforms into a werewolf every night, killing a villager and waking up without remembering. The terror of the town is eventually brought down by John Talbot, who looks on in horror as the wolf he’s just beaten with a silver cane turns back into his son. Sad-eyed Chaney Jr. does his father proud with his work in this classic monster movie, and Claude Rains proves yet again that he can literally act in anything.

14. The Lighthouse

Inspired by an unfinished story by Edgar Allen Poe and a myth about the mysterious deaths of a couple of lighthouse wickies in Wales, The Lighthouse follows two wickies as they spend their time in isolation. Over the course of the film, the two slowly descend into drunken madness. That descent ramps up ever more when Robert Pattinson’s Ephraim kills a one-eyed seagull, something that Willem Dafoe’s Thomas superstitiously warns him against doing. This film is filmed in black and white and contains frequent use of period-accurate maritime dialogue, which gives it a greater sense of historical and mythological presence. Robert Eggers’ previous film, The Witch, also notoriously keeps it’s depiction accurate to the period in which it is based, making Eggers an interesting new-ish director to watch.

13. The Others

Nicole Kidman stars as Grace Stewart, a mother who lost her husband in World War II and now spends her time taking care of her children who are sensitive to light by keeping the house as dark as possible. However, before too long, many inexplicable thing happen, convincing Grace that her house is haunted. Things take an even stranger turn when her husband she was convinced is dead returns home. Eventually, Grace uncovers the truth of what is going on in her home, and it’s honestly probably not what you think. Kidman’s performance and the beautiful look of the film carry it. And while everyone loves a good twist, there’s more to keep you invested in the movie than just that. Perfectly creepy in tone, The Others is a thrilling supernatural horror mystery just waiting to be solved.

12. Donnie Darko

Donnie Darko (Jake Gyllenhaal) is a troubled youth in the late 1980s. He sleepwalks and has visions of a man in a creepy rabbit costume named Frank, something that saves his life from being crushed by a crashing airplane that no one can account for. Frank convinces Darko to cause a flood in his school and burn down the house of a motivational speaker (Patrick Swayze in an unusually sinister role), all the while trying to get him to understand something about time travel and explain that the world is going to end on Halloween night. Things come to a head mere moments before the end of the world in an absolutely bonkers finale. Donnie Darko is a complex and twisty independent horror film that is probably to blame for Horror’s recent-ish fascination with 1980s nostalgia, but that’s not a mark against it.

11. Cat People

This film is sort of the female version of The Wolf Man. Simone Simon plays Irena, an immigrant from a village in Serbia who believes she is descended from a group of people who turn into black panthers when aroused. We’ve all been there, am I right? (I’m so sorry, mom) She falls in love with Oliver, who doesn’t believe Irena’s superstitions, and they get married. However, Irena becomes increasingly concerned with turning into a cat, and Oliver convinces her to see a psychiatrist. Irena and Oliver’s marriage gets rocky and Oliver finds solace in the arms of his coworker, Alice. Irena is suspicious of their relationship and ends up stalking Alice, but is it as human or as a panther? I have a difficult time getting people to take my recommendation on this movie. I guess because it’s a kinda-goofy concept, but let me tell you this: no other Horror movie draws from the fear of what you don’t see more than Cat People, and that includes most Hitchcock films.

10. A Nightmare on Elm Street

Wes Craven was the Slasher director, and his talent and thoughtfulness for the subgenre were at their peak with A Nightmare on Elm Street. When some of the promiscuous teens in town start having weird dreams about a man in a red and green sweater and hat, who walks around with steak knives on his gloved hand, the line between dream and reality get blurred. What this man, the one and only Freddy Krueger, does in their dreams, follows them into their awakened lives, including death. Nancy, one of the girls plagued by these nightmares, slowly uncovers who Freddy is (or was) and in the end, it’s up to her to stand up to him. The premise of being unable to avoid Freddy because he attacks your dreams is a wonderfully frightening thought, and it separates A Nightmare on Elm Street from other movies of the genre.

9. The Exorcist

When Chris MacNeil’s (Ellen Burstyn) daughter, Regan (Linda Blair), starts exhibiting strange behavior, Father Karras (Jason Miller) is convinced it’s demon possession. However, he is currently experiencing a crisis of faith and feels unfit for the task, so they call in Father Merrin (Max von Sydow) who is quite experienced with exorcisms. Together, Fathers Merrin and Karras attempt to extract the demon from Regan, but unfortunately, they are not capable of doing it. It’s not until Father Karras makes a Christ-like sacrifice that the demon leaves poor Regan alone. Most Horror films, especially newer ones, are very antagonistic towards religion, but The Exorcist treats it’s Catholic origins with respect and therefore, it makes it’s story more believable.

8. The Thing

John Carpenter’s best film takes place in Antarctica, where an American research team witness a helicopter blow up in pursuit of a dog. R.J. MacReady (Kurt Russell) investigates and finds an unusual-looking body, which he brings back to base to have investigated. However, it soon becomes clear that the body is that of an alien creature taking the form of a human. As the revelations about the aliens abilities come to fruition, MacReady and the others realize, in their isolation, none of them are safe. The alien could be impersonating any one of them. That paranoia of who is who they say they are drives the movie to it’s explosive end. Kurt Russell’s performance and the special effects, which are still quite impressive if not disgusting, make this film a must-watch.

7. Diabolique

Michel runs a boarding school with an iron fist. He mistreats his wife, Christina, and his mistress, Nicole. Fed up with his abuse, Nicole and Christina agree to murder Michel and make it look like an accident, so they drown him in a bathtub and throw his body in the pool. However, the next morning, there is no body. Several mysteries surrounding Michel’s body and ghost plague Christina to the point of sickness. As her sanity unravels, the film presents so many twists, it’ll make your head spin. There’s a reason there was a warning before the movie was shown in theaters telling audiences not to spoil the ending for others. This French film is tense from start to finish, and thrilling to watch. It’s no wonder Alfred Hitchcock wanted the rights so badly. However, the film is nearly perfect in the hands of Henri-Georges Clouzot.

6. Jaws

The ultimate summer blockbuster. Only Steven Spielberg’s third film, Jaws shot him to the stratosphere as well as revitalized the Monster movie genre. When a great white shark terrorizes the beach of a coastal town, the new police chief, Martin Brody (Roy Scheider), closes the beaches. The heartless mayor is on his case about keeping the beaches closed, as he fears the town’s economic suffering for the summer months. Instead, a bounty is placed on the shark, and when the many would-be bounty hunters fail at bringing the shark down, it’s up to Brody, Matt Hooper (Richard Dreyfuss), and Quint (Robert Shaw) to save the local waters. You know the movie. You know the soundtrack. The movie and specifically the image of just a shark fin gliding across the water has been parodied and referenced to death, but that just proves it’s longevity.

5. An American Werewolf in London

Two American travelers, David Kessler (David Naughton) and Jack Goodman (Griffin Dunne), get attacked by a wolf out in the Yorkshire moors, leaving David bedridden for weeks and killing Jack. David appears to be healing up rather quickly according to Dr. Hirsch and the nurse, Alex, but he’s convinced he’s getting worse. He and Alex fall in love and sleep together at her apartment. When she goes to work for her night shift, David transforms into a werewolf in one of the most excruciatingly long scenes ever, and then attacks people night after night. His reign of terror on London is ended when the police corner him in an alley behind an adult movie theater. The movie is funnier than you might expect, but it’s also truly horrific, with jump scares and intense shadows. Quite frankly, it’s one of the best monster movies of all time.

4. The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari

Considered the first true horror film, The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari has all the makings of a classic. The German Expressionist set pieces, the creeping shadows, the twist ending – it’s all there. The story is recounted in a discussion between two men. The one telling the story, Francis, relays his personal experience with the eponymous doctor to an older man. Dr. Caligari is a hypnotist with a somnambulist under his spell. He uses the somnambulist to murder and kidnap people. When Caligari has his somnambulist kidnap his fiancee, Jane, Francis attempts to put a stop to Caligari’s misdeeds, but Caligari escapes into an insane asylum, where, it turns out, he’s the director. I won’t spoil the ending, but this 1921 German silent film is a movie that has to be seen to be believed.

3. Dracula

The original Universal monster movie. Dracula started the explosive era of monster movies in America in the 1930s. Bela Lugosi stars as the famous Count Dracula, who recruits the easily-persuaded Renfield into his services. Renfield secures passage for the Count on a boat traveling from Transylvania to London, England. There, he meets Dr. Seward and John Harker, as well as his next two victims, Mina Seward and Lucy Weston. Harker becomes suspicious of Dracula after Lucy dies and brings in the famous Dr. Van Helsing to investigate. Together, they have to take down Dracula before Mina becomes completely under his spell. Bela Lugosi had a struggling career after this movie because of how well he embodied Dracula, and it’s no wonder. There has never been a better monster performance or movie.

2. Psycho

Marion Crane (Janet Leigh) steals from her boss in order to pay her boyfriend’s debts. Immediately feeling regret and paranoia, she decides to return the money, but the rain on the road is impossible to see through and she finds haven at the Bates Motel. But things aren’t all as they seem at the motel or with its proprietors. The unsuspecting Marion will never finish her shower. (Is this a spoiler? Come on, you all know the scene.) From there, the movie shifts focus to Marion’s boyfriend and sister as they investigate Marion’s mysterious disappearance. Hitchcock turned the audience’s expectations completely on their heads by casting the headliner Leigh in a role that disappears after the first third of the movie, but that’s just the beginning of what this movie has in store.

1. The Silence of the Lambs

Along with the above film, The Silence of the Lambs ignited a love affair between American audiences and serial killers. Clarice Starling is an FBI agent that gets involved with the case of the Buffalo Bill murders by being asked to interview known cannibal, Dr. Hannibal Lecter, to get a profile on Buffalo Bill. Lecter complies but only if Starling lets him psychoanalyze him as well. At each of their meetings, he offers a nugget of information about Bill in exchange for personal information about her. Starling follows Lecter’s clues, pursuing Bill, and Lecter is transferred to a different prison facility, where he successfully breaks out. This Oscar-winning film keeps you on the edge of your seat throughout and only heightens its intensity in its climax. Both this movie and Psycho take a lot of inspiration from real-life serial killer, Ed Guinn. That true-life comparison and its proximity serve to inflame our fear. The Silence of the Lambs is truly terrifying.

Bubba Ho-Tep

/ Chase Clark / 1 Comment

It’s October – spooky month – and that means I plan to focus my reviews on the Horror genre. I’m not really a fan of Horror movies, so I’m probably rather unqualified to do this, but what can I do? I gots to review. There are some great Horror films out there, don’t get me wrong, but the majority of them are too indulgent on what gets audiences – jump scares, gore – to the point where their stories are diluted.

This is my first foray into reviewing Horror, and I thought I should start with one of the oddest films I’ve seen in the genre. Bubba Ho-Tep.

The one-line pitch for this movie is as follows: A geriatric Elvis (still alive and hiding as an impersonator of himself) and a black man who is convinced he’s John F. Kennedy have to save their nursing home from a southern Mummy. Think about that for a second, reread it if you have to. Come on, you know you want to see it.

Maybe it’s because of that crazy hook that the movie felt more disappointing while watching it. It had so much going for it, in theory. I love the totally bonkers premise. I love Bruce Campbell and Ossie Davis (Elvis and JFK respectively). I honestly love the soundtrack. But when it comes down to it, Bubba Ho-Tep is not a good movie. Not even in the campy-sorta way. I’m sure this comes as a shock to all of you.

The biggest issue with the movie is a subplot explaining how Elvis came to impersonate himself and why he has another name, Sebastian Haff. It takes up way too much time and derails the pacing of the movie, all for a joke that needed maybe two sentences to set up. While watching these scenes, I contemplated what could have made them seem necessary to the filmmakers. Really, what I suspect it is, is there isn’t enough story involving the mummy to warrant a full-length movie, so they had to pad the runtime with this backstory. We don’t even get a backstory for JFK’s transformation to a Black man, which would have been much more interesting.

I also don’t care for the director, Don Coscarelli. Other films to his credit are the Phantasm movies and The Beastmaster. If you’ve seen those movies, surely you understand what I’m getting at. Coscarelli is good with minimal budgets, but he’s less consistent with pacing and editing. It makes his films hard to watch and Bubba Ho-Tep is no exception to those tendencies.

A scene where a lady is confronted by a scarab and the last 15-20 minutes (the confrontation with Bubba Ho-Tep) are quite well-done and enjoyable, especially seeing Campbell’s Elvis coming to JFK’s rescue in a motorized wheelchair, but it’s not enough to rescue the film. If you’re a fan of schlock or enjoy watching bad movies for the irony, maybe give Bubba Ho-Tep a try. I’m sure some of you will find something in the movie to latch onto. Otherwise, you’re better off watching something – anything – else. In fact, you’re probably better off not watching anything at all.